a house does not house. a home. a far away place. time backwards. the unending squeeze. two arms. two legs. skin. the abandon. seventeen and after. the embrace that remains. within. after shoulders part. after breath travels far away. the nudge of bones. of the woman who lives like people on a train.  like all of them. rivers and streams flowing through cars. seventeen and after. she is all of them. packed into a tin can. never knowing when one crushes into the other. or obliterates a self completely. lost. the privilege of space. found. the current of alone. fulfilled. a million lackluster dreams. pressed across oceans. fulfilled in gray ashes. sprinkling throughout the air against black cloth and silver metal like rain. and irredeemable gusts. not forgotten. just filtered and flanked and fumbling. against and across and towards seventeen. an ending and a beginning and an end. backwards to start.