“jumpstart from dreaming non-sense,

fool” she said, weaving her fingers between his arm and abdomen

and  pressing them against his chest until he had wrested the blood from her fingernails with his unrelenting grip.

lines and forms carved themselves between her skin and his.

tones and textures.

created the subtle separation of their bodies

cemented the masquerade once again

in panic.

she thought over his warning: “the stakes are too deadly,”

remembered the striking sound of fear

melting out of lips familiar usually with mortality, and then she ran

her breath down the layers he had since mapped out

protected flesh and abscessed guts

fill material. the crawl of desire once wrenching

itself upon her skin in suspended touches.

deadened.

they had already dismembered their willingness in faint

tones and reinforcing steel.

his bluster. her

mourning break down.

both disgraced

into unconvincing paralysis

&  imperative grace.

Useless parts. Float on in an ocean. Polluted. Serene. Carried by waves of desire. Emo-confessions swimming on the edges. Diluting pain and love and fear and doubt and courage. Numbing numbness into feeling. Hopelessness into desire. Helplessness into acting out eligible candidate interviews. Deadened limbs and organs into innocence. & Relief.

sevilla begins with a saunter. down crooked streets with maligned intentions. of losing oneself in a city already lost. the guide leads to places blindly. or as if without sight or direction. in sevilla, neither exists. street tangled upon street. where everything looks different and similar. una cana assi y otra cana alli. people take a siesta where others are still sauntering. cana upon cana and then mojito. the night is blurred by the straggle of calles to the left and right. diagonals under the moonlight. spanish practiced. far from perfect. but laughter is universal. arm upon arm. sweated out in bitter oranges. ending in the horizontal positioning of the self on the edge of a bed. it’s the closest position to ideal that will be seen.

rooftops differ. one glances upon a city of white. the other reflects the lights of mountaintops and hilltop castles. a time existed when the extremities would be vastly perceivable. the variations now appear only between the mundanity of boredom and the refreshing crisp blast of life on the skin. buen provecho – salud – to making the life last beyond tomorrow. the difficulty is not so difficult. only complicated. harsh. painful. yet there is. a release of the fingertips against a skin. and the softness of fingernails against the back. and a forever tightwire walk. across an impassible gorge. a religious sacrifice. street cleaners below to clean up the splatter. of a life. too worth living to not live it. against a backdrop of glistening low-lying stars. en que. where the limes draw in the cheeks against the bones. where the sweetness of taste flattens the tongue into submission. before reality is swallowed. and the choice has to be made. to swallow the bittersweet regression. or is it progression. they both feel so similar to the tips of the toes. the cold water. the rough stone. the hot sun. collide in perfection. but the stars fall similarly in line with the starts. the fall slowly. then fast. and then arrives the wish. the guapo wish. tres jolie. even when the fall avalanches into an oblivion of darkness.

Tremendous arrogance and shallow definition. In this, lacks need for recognition. Several times and then before. The facade again and otra vez. Escape the proximity of the lies. Until tomorrow when closeness muerte

little remains. but so much is beginning. a drunken night. a bed. a life. proved. laughable. then moments of being lost. in an impossible city. lacking north and south. east and west. the roaming. and the viewing. and the roaming. cinquinta dollares later. the roaming. until peace. una dia y una rio. 1992 world’s fair. a mushroom. a city. a wandering. there is. nothing but roaming and wandering. and there will be more. 2 lovers in a grandstand. feeding. 2 lovers on a rooftop. laughing. a pool and relaxation. a rooftop and drinks. and the city. below, beyond. on the level. nothing can stop this. in motion  phenomenon. nothing can make it die or live. it can only be what it is. 

before practicing alone. before a plane. only a few left. razors. medication. cigarettes. the things that can’t be taken. can. will.